Placeholder text taken from The IT Crowd

0115... no... 0118... no... 0118 999 ... 3. Hello? Is this the emergency services? Then which country am I speaking to? Hello? Hello? When I started Reynholm Industries, I had just two things in my possession: a dream and 6 million pounds. We don't need no education. Yes you do. You've just used a double negative. Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again? Carrie, Moss! First scene in Carrie! Oh. Okay No, no there you go, no there you go. I just heard it come on. We don't need no education. Yes you do. You've just used a double negative.

So, remember the new number! 0118 999! 88199, 9119 725! ... 3! Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again? Yeah, you need to turn it on... uh, the button turns it on. No, no, that's the music you heard when it come on. When I started Reynholm Industries, I had just two things in my possession: a dream and 6 million pounds. A story of a young man trying to find his sexuality in the uncaring Thatcher years. Warning: Contains scenes of graphic homoeroticism. Yes! Yesterday's jam. That is what we are to them!... Actually, that doesn't work, as a thing, because, you know, jam lasts for ages.

No, no, that's the music you heard when it come on. You can come down here any time and I'll be waiting for you! [slams down phone] That told her! I am a man, he's a man, we're men! Ok, tell me how your feeling. I feel delicate... and annoyed, and... I think I'm ugly. He's had quite an evening. Someone stole his wheelchair. Did you see who it was? Red bearded man. You can come down here any time and I'll be waiting for you! [slams down phone] That told her! How long have you been disabled? Ten years? Ten years, and how did it happen? If that's not a rude question. Acid? Dear Sir stroke Madam. Fire, exclamation mark. Fire, exclamation mark. Help me, exclamation mark. 123 Carrendon Road. Looking forward to hearing from you. All the best, Maurice Moss.

Oh really? Then why don't you come down and make me then. Well that's easy to remember. 0118 999 88199 9119 725! ... 3! Hello? I've had a bit of a tumble. It's my term for my time of the month. Oh. What time of the month? The weekend? Huh, what you think I'm afraid of you? I'm not afraid of you. No, that's the music you hear when... I'm sorry are you from the past? Hello? I've had a bit of a tumble.

I'm a 32 year old IT-man who works in a basement. Yes, I do the whole Lonely Hearts thing! He's had quite an evening. Someone stole his wheelchair. Did you see who it was? Red bearded man. OK. Moss, what did you have for breakfast this morning? Smarties cereal. Might want to play a bit hard to get. When I started Reynholm Industries, I had just two things in my possession: a dream and 6 million pounds. How can you two... Don't Google the question, Moss! From today, dialing 999 won't get you the Emergency Services, and that's not the only thing that's changing!

It's like they're pally-wally with us when there's a problem with their printer, but once it's fixed... Well that's easy to remember. 0118 999 88199 9119 725! ... 3! Yes! If there were such a thing as a drudgeon, that is what we'd be to them. It's like they're pally-wally with us when there's a problem with their printer, but once it's fixed... Oh really? Then why don't you come down and make me then. I mean, they have no respect for us up there! No respect whatsoever! We're all just drudgeons to them! 0115... no... 0118... no... 0118 999 ... 3. Hello? Is this the emergency services? Then which country am I speaking to? Hello? Hello?

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