Placeholder text taken from The IT Crowd

A story of a young man trying to find his sexuality in the uncaring Thatcher years. Warning: Contains scenes of graphic homoeroticism. No, no there you go, no there you go. I just heard it come on. 0115... no... 0118... no... 0118 999 ... 3. Hello? Is this the emergency services? Then which country am I speaking to? Hello? Hello? Hello? I've had a bit of a tumble. It's like they're pally-wally with us when there's a problem with their printer, but once it's fixed... Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again? No, that's the music you hear when... I'm sorry are you from the past?

Shut up, do what I tell you, I'm not interested; these are just some of the things you'll be hearing if you answer this ad. I'm an idiot and I dont care about anyone but myself. P.S. No dogs! Nicer ambulances, faster response times and better looking drivers mean they're not just the Emergency Services, they're your Emergency Services. No, no, that's the music you heard when it come on. Nicer ambulances, faster response times and better looking drivers mean they're not just the Emergency Services, they're your Emergency Services. Yeah, you need to turn it on... uh, the button turns it on. Dear Sir stroke Madam, I am writing to inform you of a fire which has broken out at the premises of... He's had quite an evening. Someone stole his wheelchair. Did you see who it was? Red bearded man.

From today, dialing 999 won't get you the Emergency Services, and that's not the only thing that's changing! Unbelievable! Some idiot disabled his firewall, meaning all the computers on Seven are teeming with viruses, plus I've just had to walk all the way down the motherfudging stairs, because the lifts are broken AGAIN! No, no, that's the music you heard when it come on. He's had quite an evening. Someone stole his wheelchair. Did you see who it was? Red bearded man. From today, dialing 999 won't get you the Emergency Services, and that's not the only thing that's changing! How can you two... Don't Google the question, Moss! Yeah, you need to turn it on... uh, the button turns it on.

Yeah, you do know how a button works don't you? No, not on clothes. You can come down here any time and I'll be waiting for you! [slams down phone] That told her! Today I have a business empire the like of which the world has never seen the like of which. I hope it doesn't sound arrogant when I say that I am the greatest man in the world! Today I have a business empire the like of which the world has never seen the like of which. I hope it doesn't sound arrogant when I say that I am the greatest man in the world! I mean, they have no respect for us up there! No respect whatsoever! We're all just drudgeons to them! I'm going to murder you... You bloody woman! You're not comfortable with your sexuality? Oh, I'm very comfortable with my sexuality, I just don't want to be slapped in the face with their sexuality.

If anyone was ever rude to me, I used to carry their food around in my trousers. Oh my God! Before you brought it to their table? No, after! Of course, before! Why would I do it after? You can come down here any time and I'll be waiting for you! [slams down phone] That told her! He's had quite an evening. Someone stole his wheelchair. Did you see who it was? Red bearded man. Might want to play a bit hard to get. No, no, that's the music you heard when it come on. Oh really? Then why don't you come down and make me then. A story of a young man trying to find his sexuality in the uncaring Thatcher years. Warning: Contains scenes of graphic homoeroticism.

I'm going to murder you... You bloody woman! Yes! If there were such a thing as a drudgeon, that is what we'd be to them. A story of a young man trying to find his sexuality in the uncaring Thatcher years. Warning: Contains scenes of graphic homoeroticism. From today, dialing 999 won't get you the Emergency Services, and that's not the only thing that's changing! It's my term for my time of the month. Oh. What time of the month? The weekend? We don't need no education. Yes you do. You've just used a double negative. So, remember the new number! 0118 999! 88199, 9119 725! ... 3!

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