Placeholder text taken from The IT Crowd

Huh, what you think I'm afraid of you? I'm not afraid of you. 0115... no... 0118... no... 0118 999 ... 3. Hello? Is this the emergency services? Then which country am I speaking to? Hello? Hello? You know, it's high tide. But we're not on the coast. I'm closed for maintenance! Closed for maintenance? I've fallen to the communists! Well, they do have some strong arguments. Dear Sir stroke Madam. Fire, exclamation mark. Fire, exclamation mark. Help me, exclamation mark. 123 Carrendon Road. Looking forward to hearing from you. All the best, Maurice Moss. Today I have a business empire the like of which the world has never seen the like of which. I hope it doesn't sound arrogant when I say that I am the greatest man in the world! Yeah, you need to turn it on... uh, the button turns it on. They just toss us away like yesterday's jam.

Oh my God. I didn't even know Smarties made a cereal. They don't. It's just Smarties in a bowl with milk. Yes! If there were such a thing as a drudgeon, that is what we'd be to them. So, remember the new number! 0118 999! 88199, 9119 725! ... 3! Dear Sir stroke Madam, I am writing to inform you of a fire which has broken out at the premises of... Yeah, you do know how a button works don't you? No, not on clothes. Nicer ambulances, faster response times and better looking drivers mean they're not just the Emergency Services, they're your Emergency Services. Yes! If there were such a thing as a drudgeon, that is what we'd be to them.

If anyone was ever rude to me, I used to carry their food around in my trousers. Oh my God! Before you brought it to their table? No, after! Of course, before! Why would I do it after? Uh... okay, well, the button on the side, is it glowing? How can you two... Don't Google the question, Moss! I mean, they have no respect for us up there! No respect whatsoever! We're all just drudgeons to them! Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again? They just toss us away like yesterday's jam. Hello? I've had a bit of a tumble.

I'm going to murder you... You bloody woman! I'll put this over here, with the rest of the fire. Yeah, you need to turn it on... uh, the button turns it on. Hello, IT. Have you tried forcing an unexpected reboot? Well that's easy to remember. 0118 999 88199 9119 725! ... 3! Might want to play a bit hard to get. A gay musical, called Gay. That's quite gay. Gay musical? Aren't all musicals gay? This must be, like, the gayest musical ever.

See the driver hooks a function by patching the system call table, so its not safe to unload it unless another thread's about to jump in there and do its stuff, and you don't want to end up in the middle of invalid memory! How can you two... Don't Google the question, Moss! We don't need no education. Yes you do. You've just used a double negative. Well that's easy to remember. 0118 999 88199 9119 725! ... 3! Dear Sir stroke Madam, I am writing to inform you of a fire which has broken out at the premises of... Yeah, you do know how a button works don't you? No, not on clothes. See the driver hooks a function by patching the system call table, so its not safe to unload it unless another thread's about to jump in there and do its stuff, and you don't want to end up in the middle of invalid memory!

You're not comfortable with your sexuality? Oh, I'm very comfortable with my sexuality, I just don't want to be slapped in the face with their sexuality. Might want to play a bit hard to get. No, no, that's the music you heard when it come on. Graphic homoeroticism? Does that mean they're going to get them out? Yes! If there were such a thing as a drudgeon, that is what we'd be to them. From today, dialing 999 won't get you the Emergency Services, and that's not the only thing that's changing! No, no there you go, no there you go. I just heard it come on.

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