Placeholder text taken from The IT Crowd

When I started Reynholm Industries, I had just two things in my possession: a dream and 6 million pounds. From today, dialing 999 won't get you the Emergency Services, and that's not the only thing that's changing! No, no there you go, no there you go. I just heard it come on. I'll put this over here, with the rest of the fire. Yeah, you need to turn it on... uh, the button turns it on. Today I have a business empire the like of which the world has never seen the like of which. I hope it doesn't sound arrogant when I say that I am the greatest man in the world! It's my term for my time of the month. Oh. What time of the month? The weekend?

I don't see how they couldn't just keep it as it was. How hard is it to remember 911? If anyone was ever rude to me, I used to carry their food around in my trousers. Oh my God! Before you brought it to their table? No, after! Of course, before! Why would I do it after? It's my term for my time of the month. Oh. What time of the month? The weekend? I've got Aunt Irma visiting. Oh, do you not like Aunt Irma? I've got an aunt like that. I don't see how they couldn't just keep it as it was. How hard is it to remember 911? They just toss us away like yesterday's jam. Dear Sir stroke Madam, I am writing to inform you of a fire which has broken out at the premises of...

Dear Sir stroke Madam, I am writing to inform you of a fire which has broken out at the premises of... See the driver hooks a function by patching the system call table, so its not safe to unload it unless another thread's about to jump in there and do its stuff, and you don't want to end up in the middle of invalid memory! From today, dialing 999 won't get you the Emergency Services, and that's not the only thing that's changing! Unbelievable! Some idiot disabled his firewall, meaning all the computers on Seven are teeming with viruses, plus I've just had to walk all the way down the motherfudging stairs, because the lifts are broken AGAIN! You mean 999. Yes, yes, I mean 999! Yeah, I know. That's the American one, you berk! I mean, they have no respect for us up there! No respect whatsoever! We're all just drudgeons to them! While he was eating, did you hear anyone laughing? Like... in the kitchen area? Yes! Yes I did, actually, yes I did. That'd be trouser food!

Unbelievable! Some idiot disabled his firewall, meaning all the computers on Seven are teeming with viruses, plus I've just had to walk all the way down the motherfudging stairs, because the lifts are broken AGAIN! Yes! Yesterday's jam. That is what we are to them!... Actually, that doesn't work, as a thing, because, you know, jam lasts for ages. No, no there you go, no there you go. I just heard it come on. It's my term for my time of the month. Oh. What time of the month? The weekend? Well that's easy to remember. 0118 999 88199 9119 725! ... 3! How long have you been disabled? Ten years? Ten years, and how did it happen? If that's not a rude question. Acid? I don't see how they couldn't just keep it as it was. How hard is it to remember 911?

A story of a young man trying to find his sexuality in the uncaring Thatcher years. Warning: Contains scenes of graphic homoeroticism. You can come down here any time and I'll be waiting for you! [slams down phone] That told her! Well that's easy to remember. 0118 999 88199 9119 725! ... 3! Hello? I've had a bit of a tumble. It's like they're pally-wally with us when there's a problem with their printer, but once it's fixed... Dear Sir stroke Madam. Fire, exclamation mark. Fire, exclamation mark. Help me, exclamation mark. 123 Carrendon Road. Looking forward to hearing from you. All the best, Maurice Moss. Oh really? Then why don't you come down and make me then.

Huh, what you think I'm afraid of you? I'm not afraid of you. No, that's the music you hear when... I'm sorry are you from the past? I'll put this over here, with the rest of the fire. It's like they're pally-wally with us when there's a problem with their printer, but once it's fixed... Yeah, you do know how a button works don't you? No, not on clothes. I mean, they have no respect for us up there! No respect whatsoever! We're all just drudgeons to them! How long have you been disabled? Ten years? Ten years, and how did it happen? If that's not a rude question. Acid?

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