Placeholder text taken from The IT Crowd

Dear Sir stroke Madam. Fire, exclamation mark. Fire, exclamation mark. Help me, exclamation mark. 123 Carrendon Road. Looking forward to hearing from you. All the best, Maurice Moss. Might want to play a bit hard to get. No, no there you go, no there you go. I just heard it come on. Unbelievable! Some idiot disabled his firewall, meaning all the computers on Seven are teeming with viruses, plus I've just had to walk all the way down the motherfudging stairs, because the lifts are broken AGAIN! If anyone was ever rude to me, I used to carry their food around in my trousers. Oh my God! Before you brought it to their table? No, after! Of course, before! Why would I do it after? Graphic homoeroticism? Does that mean they're going to get them out? Hello, IT. Have you tried forcing an unexpected reboot?

I'm a 32 year old IT-man who works in a basement. Yes, I do the whole Lonely Hearts thing! Hello? I've had a bit of a tumble. Huh, what you think I'm afraid of you? I'm not afraid of you. He's had quite an evening. Someone stole his wheelchair. Did you see who it was? Red bearded man. No, no there you go, no there you go. I just heard it come on. Shut up, do what I tell you, I'm not interested; these are just some of the things you'll be hearing if you answer this ad. I'm an idiot and I dont care about anyone but myself. P.S. No dogs! I've got Aunt Irma visiting. Oh, do you not like Aunt Irma? I've got an aunt like that.

It's my term for my time of the month. Oh. What time of the month? The weekend? No, that's the music you hear when... I'm sorry are you from the past? Oh really? Then why don't you come down and make me then. Oh really? Then why don't you come down and make me then. 0115... no... 0118... no... 0118 999 ... 3. Hello? Is this the emergency services? Then which country am I speaking to? Hello? Hello? Dear Sir stroke Madam. Fire, exclamation mark. Fire, exclamation mark. Help me, exclamation mark. 123 Carrendon Road. Looking forward to hearing from you. All the best, Maurice Moss. No, no there you go, no there you go. I just heard it come on.

I've got Aunt Irma visiting. Oh, do you not like Aunt Irma? I've got an aunt like that. Carrie, Moss! First scene in Carrie! Oh. Okay I'm going to murder you... You bloody woman! How long have you been disabled? Ten years? Ten years, and how did it happen? If that's not a rude question. Acid? How can you two... Don't Google the question, Moss! Hello? I've had a bit of a tumble. OK. Moss, what did you have for breakfast this morning? Smarties cereal.

How can you two... Don't Google the question, Moss! A gay musical, called Gay. That's quite gay. Gay musical? Aren't all musicals gay? This must be, like, the gayest musical ever. When I started Reynholm Industries, I had just two things in my possession: a dream and 6 million pounds. Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again? I'll put this over here, with the rest of the fire. Well that's easy to remember. 0118 999 88199 9119 725! ... 3! You mean 999. Yes, yes, I mean 999! Yeah, I know. That's the American one, you berk!

Dear Sir stroke Madam, I am writing to inform you of a fire which has broken out at the premises of... Dear Sir stroke Madam, I am writing to inform you of a fire which has broken out at the premises of... Oh really? Then why don't you come down and make me then. 0115... no... 0118... no... 0118 999 ... 3. Hello? Is this the emergency services? Then which country am I speaking to? Hello? Hello? Yeah, you need to turn it on... uh, the button turns it on. Yeah, you do know how a button works don't you? No, not on clothes. I'm a 32 year old IT-man who works in a basement. Yes, I do the whole Lonely Hearts thing!

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