Placeholder text taken from The IT Crowd

Oh really? Then why don't you come down and make me then. From today, dialing 999 won't get you the Emergency Services, and that's not the only thing that's changing! From today, dialing 999 won't get you the Emergency Services, and that's not the only thing that's changing! You mean 999. Yes, yes, I mean 999! Yeah, I know. That's the American one, you berk! Dear Sir stroke Madam. Fire, exclamation mark. Fire, exclamation mark. Help me, exclamation mark. 123 Carrendon Road. Looking forward to hearing from you. All the best, Maurice Moss. I mean, they have no respect for us up there! No respect whatsoever! We're all just drudgeons to them! You know, it's high tide. But we're not on the coast. I'm closed for maintenance! Closed for maintenance? I've fallen to the communists! Well, they do have some strong arguments.

OK. Moss, what did you have for breakfast this morning? Smarties cereal. Yeah, you do know how a button works don't you? No, not on clothes. Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again? I'm going to murder you... You bloody woman! How long have you been disabled? Ten years? Ten years, and how did it happen? If that's not a rude question. Acid? You mean 999. Yes, yes, I mean 999! Yeah, I know. That's the American one, you berk! A gay musical, called Gay. That's quite gay. Gay musical? Aren't all musicals gay? This must be, like, the gayest musical ever.

Yes! Yesterday's jam. That is what we are to them!... Actually, that doesn't work, as a thing, because, you know, jam lasts for ages. Yes! If there were such a thing as a drudgeon, that is what we'd be to them. He's had quite an evening. Someone stole his wheelchair. Did you see who it was? Red bearded man. I mean, they have no respect for us up there! No respect whatsoever! We're all just drudgeons to them! How can you two... Don't Google the question, Moss! It's my term for my time of the month. Oh. What time of the month? The weekend? I'm a 32 year old IT-man who works in a basement. Yes, I do the whole Lonely Hearts thing!

A story of a young man trying to find his sexuality in the uncaring Thatcher years. Warning: Contains scenes of graphic homoeroticism. Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again? I mean, they have no respect for us up there! No respect whatsoever! We're all just drudgeons to them! Graphic homoeroticism? Does that mean they're going to get them out? Hello? I've had a bit of a tumble. Yeah, you need to turn it on... uh, the button turns it on. They just toss us away like yesterday's jam.

No, that's the music you hear when... I'm sorry are you from the past? I am a man, he's a man, we're men! Ok, tell me how your feeling. I feel delicate... and annoyed, and... I think I'm ugly. I'm a 32 year old IT-man who works in a basement. Yes, I do the whole Lonely Hearts thing! Oh really? Then why don't you come down and make me then. No, no there you go, no there you go. I just heard it come on. I am a man, he's a man, we're men! Ok, tell me how your feeling. I feel delicate... and annoyed, and... I think I'm ugly. How can you two... Don't Google the question, Moss!

Dear Sir stroke Madam, I am writing to inform you of a fire which has broken out at the premises of... Hello? I've had a bit of a tumble. Nicer ambulances, faster response times and better looking drivers mean they're not just the Emergency Services, they're your Emergency Services. If anyone was ever rude to me, I used to carry their food around in my trousers. Oh my God! Before you brought it to their table? No, after! Of course, before! Why would I do it after? Yeah, you need to turn it on... uh, the button turns it on. I'm going to murder you... You bloody woman! Huh, what you think I'm afraid of you? I'm not afraid of you.

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